I try to schedule my work day so I can fit in a nap.
Most days something hurts or doesn’t move the way it’s supposed to.
I’m lost without my reading glasses.
The word I speak the most in any given day is “Huh?”
I own a pillbox.
When I get a haircut, it includes ears, eyebrows, and nostrils.
In other words, I’m turning 40.
And, I’m sure I will receive a lot of “over the hill” reminders on my birthday (the 21st, or the shortest day of the year as many friends and family who don’t care about my blood pressure, call it. Every day, I remind them, is 24 hours). But it doesn’t feel like a big deal to me.
Then again, the only birthday I’ve struggled with until now was my 28th. I used the logic that I could no longer consider myself in my “mid-20s” but I was decidedly “late 20s.” Like most 28 year olds, I wanted to hold on to the fun-first, ask-questions –later nature of my early to mid 20s. At that time 30 seemed so….significant.
It was, of course, but not for the reasons I feared, but for the reasons I now embrace.
At 30, I believe, life begins. It begins, in large part, because it changes (not always for the better) and because you finally have a firm grip on your own life and identity to make correct, measured decisions based on who you are. Who you KNOW you are.
I don’t think you really know who you are before 30 because you’re not done growing. Your brain, your maturity, your focus, your experience – 
they are all works in progress. The last 10 years of my life have in many ways been the worst 10 my “traditional” measures – divorce, health issues, financial struggles, career fluctuation, and, of course, family drama.
But the truth is it has been truly the best decade. Those experiences have allowed me to receive new friends, new opportunities, strengthen relationships that were not as strong as they could have been, and to respond to adversity in a productive, adult manner.
Sure it’s more fun to have fun in your 20s, but it’s more important that you move the world forward in your 30s. I hope I’ve been able to do that.
(Of course, if all this adversity has struck when I was in my teens, I would have “grown up” much faster, but I believe that in your 30s is when friends, career, and family all present very adult challenges.)
Know all of this is not to say I’m all grown up. Anyone who knows me knows I’m always searching for the laugh line, the clever answer, or the way to lighten the mood. Being mature does not mean you have to be serious. If you don’t laugh every day, you will never grow. Just trust me, don’t try to disprove me – you’ll be better off.
All of this is hindsight of course. This all didn’t become clear until I slowed down, became self-aware, and answered first to myself, not to 
expectations. I don’t know what I will say about my 40s in late 2021, other than all the shit that hurt or reaching my toes became an issue. I do know I’m happier than I’ve ever been, I’ll be able to receive great blessings that come my way, or deal with adversity head-on.
At 40, I’m comfortable in my own skin, at my station in life, and ready for what’s next.
Well, what’s next is that I need to trim nose hairs. Or take an Advil for my sore back. Or pee again for the 10th time today. Physically, I may be banged up, but emotionally I’ve healed and grown and have never felt better.
Bring on the 40s.
